When I took Cindy to the emergency room on March 7th for her vision loss, our daughter had a particularly hard time dealing with it. She started asking questions about what would happen if Cindy’s vision never came back. She asked doctors when her vision would be restored and as expected, they were vague at best but didn’t make any promises. On the way back home that night, and for the next week, she kept pressing me about the what-ifs of our future. I responded by asking if we had any way of controlling the outcome and she said no. So, I asked her, “if we can’t control it, why worry about it?” She told me I was being way too calm about it, and she would worry enough for both of us.
I didn’t feel the need to worry because of how I have seen God carry us through tough times in the past. My calm came from experience which she doesn’t have yet. Were there times that I did worry? Yes! After the first time I was told Cindy’s heart stopped and had to be restarted during a surgery, that was the first thing that came to mind every time I sat in a waiting room. I rehearsed what I would say to the kids. I processed what next steps would look like. What being a single father would be like. I had so much worry and self-imposed stress, I developed stomach ulcers. There were probably other physical manifestations I was not even aware of.
In the midst of all of Cindy’s health issues, someone pointed me to Matthew 6:25-34. It’s a beautiful picture of how much God loves us and takes care of us. “Look at the birds of the air…Are you not much more valuable than they?” Verse 34 sums it up perfectly. “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” This doesn’t mean we don’t plan or make wise choices but that we stop borrowing trouble from a future we cannot control. God’s mercy, His provision, His grace, they are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). What we learned is that God is always there with us, sometimes to carry us through. Whether it be sickness, depression, bill collectors, disagreements, and so on, we rely on God to provide and work it out.
Our daughter is exploring her own faith today. Growing up, her faith was mostly ours. She believed to some extent but at 16 years old now, she is starting to ask questions that will build her faith in the long run. As of today, Cindy has regained most of her vision back in her good eye. I believe that is the power of prayer and God gave her that healing. I can only hope that our daughter will learn from this experience and begin to understand how I can be so calm in the storm; ultimately how she can find her own calm in the storm.