If you have ever flown, you’ll probably recall in the safety briefing, where they tell you to make sure to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. There’s a good reason for that. If the cabin has lost pressure, which means there isn’t enough oxygen, you’ll pass out and then you can’t help anyone, including yourself. Self-care, as a caregiver, isn’t quite so black and white but not as dissimilar as it would seem.
When Cindy’s health was at its worse, I never knew self-care was a thing. I ran burnt out for years and it took a toll on me and I’m sure the kids too. I coped with the challenges and burn out in a really bad way: food. As I’m now working on getting weight loss surgery to start undoing the damage done, the doctor told me that food is particularly bad because it creates higher levels of endorphins than many other coping mechanisms including alcohol and drugs. The biggest problem is once the weight is there, it’s hard to get back off and causes other health issues. So, DON’T go this route. I speak from personal experience. It took me a year to get to the point where I no longer require food in my hands and mouth while I watch TV.
An article published by the CDC on August 29, 2024, talks about health indicators among caregivers. The big picture shows that about 1 in 5 US adults are caregivers who experience worse health outcomes than non-caregivers. While some indicators improved, several indicators worsened. Higher rates of smoking, depression, mental distress, obesity, asthma, COPD, and arthritis were among those listed. The article emphasizes that caregivers need targeted support including: skills training, support groups, care coordination, policies that improve financial and workplace security, and respite care.
MIT also published a summary of their research in February, 2022. They found that only 37.8% of caregivers think self-care is more of a priority than a luxury. The remaining folks either rated the two equally or believe self-care is too much of a luxury. The relative lack of prioritization of self-care among these caregivers suggests that they do not envision taking care of themselves as a necessity. I can say with absolute certainty that self-care IS a necessity. I believe if I had practiced self-care, my health would be much better today.
Please make sure you take the time to take care of yourself. I know it’s hard to find the time, but you can’t skimp here because not taking care of yourself will take away your ability to take care of others. Early warning signs of burnout include irritability, exhaustion and withdrawal (there are more but those are the big ones). If you find yourself heading there, seek out help right away and start working on some of the easy things listed below.
- Build a daily decompression ritual. Five to ten minutes is enough and make sure you are secluded for this time. If you get interrupted, simply start over.
- Use grounding techniques such as slow breathing, stepping outside, going for a walk and stretching.
- Short, frequent movement breaks of 2-5 minutes.
- Hydration and simple, consistent meals.
- Prioritize sleep by setting up a routine. (Dim the lights, phone down, music, etc.)
- Join a caregiver support group. This is best in person, online loses too much.
- Stay connected with at least one “check-in” person.
- Share the load when possible. Even small tasks help.
- Set boundaries. Saying “no” is perfectly OK. Protect at least one non-negotiable personal activity each week.
- Use respite care programs when they are available. Getting someone to take your place for a day or two each month so you can get away is huge in taking care of yourself.
- Use workplace supports that might be available such as mental health visits, flex time or leave policies.